Status Report


Day Eighteen.


Name: Rob Ingraham


Age: 31 years, 3 months, 6 days


Height: 6' (approx.)


Weight: 175 lbs. (approx.)


Blood Type: O Negative

 

Astrological Sign:  Scorpio

 

Affiliation: The Revivalists


Position: Saxophonist, historian


Date: Friday, February 17, 2017


Time:  2:45 PM PST


Current Location: Portland, Oregon, USA


Temperature: 53 degrees Fahrenheit


Climate: Crisp and refreshing


Political Climate: LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA


Current Health: Moderate


Current Hangover: Mild


Hunger: 33/100


Fatigue: 75/100


Awareness: 41/100


Readiness: 99/100


Laundry, Clean: 8/100


Laundry, Dirty: 92/100


Cell Phone Battery: 88/100


Cell Phone Reception: 40/100


Time Since Last Shower: 13 hours, 26 minutes


Time Since Last Meal: 2 hours, 41 minutes


Time Since Last Snack: 13 hours, 45 minutes


Current New Jam: Braxton Cook


Current Old Jam: Rancid


Favorite Jam: Strawberry


Current Mood: Scott Pilgrim on top of a bus


Notes:


Previous evening's show (Hi-Fi, Eugene Oregon, 2-16-17, Status Report #23379) unmitigated success. Audience animated. Effort made to include less commonly-played songs in set list. Perspiration level high. Jubilation level high. Gratitude approaching record-high.


Nearing end of campaign. Victory imminent. Morale soaring.


Addendum:


Hello, friends! Rob here.


It finally happened. After sound check at Mississippi Studios/Bar Bar for our surprise (to me at least) performance for 94.7 KNRK here in Portland (Mississippi Studios being named for the street it's on, not the state it's in), I went back behind the stage to warm up. It was a narrow space, especially with all of our empty cases stacked floor-to-ceiling along both walls. On the left, there was a door to a small bathroom. On the far wall, there was a full-length mirror-


OH GOD NO WAIT THAT'S MORE OF THIS ROOM.


The circle is complete. I officially cannot tell the difference between a mirror and the rest of the room. Pray for me.


Speaking of mirrors, how did it become customary for bands to put their stickers on mirrors backstage? I understand leaving a sticker on the wall, or the door, or- depending on the punk-rock credibility of the venue- the toilet tank lid or an exposed pipe. That's all fine. But mirrors kind of don't really work so good when you cover them with stuff. I don't care if Kevin Jenkins and the Electric Dickfart Factory Band want me to know that they stopped here on their '03 tour, I'm trying to fix my stupid hair. I should cop to the fact that we have been guilty of this in the past. But NO MORE. Gotta break the cycle.


Ending:  Abrupt.